So, I have been contemplating this black magic business. Do you think that Mummy is just reacting or sensing all the negativity you may harbour towards her? Does negativity = Black Magic? I hate to be getting my wisdom especially at this hour of night from Harry Potter and Emma. But here it is.
In Harry Potter, Dumbledore once says that some of the strongest magic lies in words. Everyday, ordinary words. In my blog I did once share a thought that once all of our physical being ceases to be, what is left is the organic tangible feelings, which then get recycled into other life. If the only organic tangible part of me left behind is my feelings, I do not want it to be anger or hate or regret. I would want it to be love. Our caregivers made many mistakes in bringing us up. But I discovered through writing my blog that I love them all, even the estranged ones.
Do you think you still love Mummy? I love her and I love you and no ill words about either of you, will abate what I feel for you both. I accept your flawed flawless selves as much as I hope my daughter will accept me. In Emma, Mr. Knightley suggests that some vulnerable people require more of our compassion and understanding. You and I parent our daughters, but as we have discussed we also parent our parents. In both scenarios, our daughters and our parents are extremely vulnerable, because we parent the old and the young. They are afraid and their fear holds them hostage. I think our mother forgave hers when she saw her approaching that vulnerable state.
How can there be world peace, if there is no peace in every human heart? I aspire to acquire peace in every thought I have for all people. I don't forget how I was wounded, but I also don't forget that I can heal my own heart. My acupuncturist has mentioned more than once that the uterus is made of the same tissue as the heart. Thus, perhaps in order to be mothers we must embrace, engulf and surround our offspring to give them life. Our mother may have wronged us. But let us not forget how you and I would hit each other and then later regret it.
Sorry to be wordy, but I could not sleep and I had to get this out. I know I can tell you anything so I was unafraid of telling you this. See you this weekend with chocolate. And be warned, some or all of this may show up on my blog.
Love you lots,